The day I lost my nomination for 'Mom of the Year'

First of all, don't ever go to IKEA on a Saturday. Secondly, don't ever go to IKEA with two kids under 19 months...unless you're supermom, then it should probably be okay. --This is the only advice I will be giving today. Now, on with my story. 

IKEA is about an hour and a half away from my house, so a pretty long day for the boys to start with. C, my 18 month old, woke up at about 7:30 that morning, I could tell right away that he was still really tired, he usually doesn't wake up until around 9 and sometimes isn't ready to get out of bed until 10. He took forever to eat his breakfast of blueberry muffins that I slaved away at the night before...okay, it was the Betty Crocker mix that I talked about in my previous post, but still I 'made' muffins. I left the room and put on my '3-minute make-up', and when I came back he had thrown his whole 'home-made' muffin on the floor...grr! I gave him some milk and turned on Sesame Street for him while I finished getting ready. When I came back in the room again, the milk had also found it's way to the floor', the greeting my son gave me of the dirtiest glare to have ever been shot in anyone's direction, should have told me that maybe today wasn't the best day to go anywhere, but instead, my optimistic, naive brain said, "Oh, perfect, he is going to take the best nap on the way there and be in such a good mood the whole trip." Um...wrong. He did not fall asleep until we were almost there, and I mean like, practically in the parking lot. I actually think he tried to fall asleep, but he was just so excited to be with his super cool Auntie, who was in the back seat with him, I mean, did I really think about what I was asking of him?? Anyways, my 6 month old slept in really late that morning, and was awake just giggling and talking to himself in the car on the way there, which was perfect because I just knew he would sleep in IKEA, well, that was kinda, sorta true. So when we got to IKEA we decided we should sit down and have a snack before we embarked on our home furnishing adventure. I didn't realize it that morning, but C is cutting some serious teeth, at least 4 of them, so his gums have been pretty sore and chewing solid food has not been easy, and some days, he almost seems scared to even eat pureed food, this was one of those days. I had packed lots of 'be good and you can have a treat' food, and now he  wasn't interested in any of it...sweet. I knew now, that this wasn't the best idea I have ever had, but we were here, so we would make the best of it. After we ate, we all headed up to the showroom to look at the furniture, it started out pretty well, D was sleeping and C was just talking and pointing at all the stuff. After a bit, my sister started to get a little bored and took C to the area with the toys for the kiddos to play with. When she brought him back to us, he looked like he had just been to the baby gym and had done some serious toddler insanity workouts. The poor boy was so thirsty, that without me noticing, he leaned over and gulped up my watered down Diet Pepsi  (my husband is never going to let this go, by the way). After getting him some water, I put him back in the stroller and the pouty lip and puppy dog eyes came out. I knew he had to be hungry (and of course, sleepy) but he would not eat anything I fed him, I decided to go ahead and let him have some of D's formula since his gums hurt, to see if that might get him full-ish and maybe he would even fall asleep in the stroller.

Do you ever hear people tell a story, and you don't believe what they could be saying is true? Like they absolutely have to be stretching the truth? Well, that's probably how you will feel right now, but this exactly is how I remember it.

As I reached in my bag to pull out my handy-dandy formula dispenser, it missed my grip, jumped out of my purse, let out an evil laugh and flung itself through the air until it landed in the middle of the walk way with a very loud 'pop!' formula went everywhere! I looked at the formula on the floor, the millions of people trying not to step in it (ok THAT is an exaggeration), and then turned around and looked right back at my kids, mom and sister, and said, "Yep, that really just happened." Thankfully, the people who worked there were super nice and got it cleaned up right away, but the customers didn't seem quite to pleased with me. Oh well, formula containers throwing themselves across a room filled with crowded people and breakable dishes totally happens to everyone...right? Thankfully, I had more formula in the diaper bag, or that would have been a true disaster. By now, both boys were crying out of hunger, I gave them both bottles and their eyes glazed over. Finally some peace. After C finished his bottle, I decided I had better take him to change his diaper. Well, for the last couple days, we have been letting him go on the potty when he wants to at home, apparently, he wanted to on this day because as soon as I took his diaper off, he let it all go...and go...and go... there was pee all over the changing table, his hair, his body and of course, his clothes...including the extra pants I had brought in the bathroom for him. I reached for my phone and remembered that it had died, and my mom had his extra clothes. Also, women in the bathroom were beginning to stare at me and give me dirty looks. I'm sure they were thinking, "There's there's the woman who blew up the formula container downstairs, they haven't kicked her out of here yet?" I wanted to yell at them, "The container was crazy, it flew itself across the room and exploded itself!" but instead, I just picked up my pee soaked boy and rinsed him off in the sink. Oh, by the way, thanks to the great thinkers at IKEA, there are no paper towels in the bathroom...there were puddles of pee on the changing table, and no way to clean it up. I ended up taking a bunch of the liners that you put on the changing table before you lay your baby down and used those to mop up the urine...I then began to think of how many other times this has probably happened, and how my son was probably not just laying in his own pee...gross. I then pick up my sweet boy, put him in the pants I had brought with me for him to change into (but had still got some pee on them during the great baby flood that just happened), left everything else in the bathroom and carried him with no shirt, shoes or socks, through IKEA until I got to my mom and sister who had the diaper bag with his extra clothes in it. I grabbed his pajamas (the only clean clothes left for him) and threw them at my sister asking her to put them on him, did an about face, marched straight back to the bathroom, went into a stall, and cried...then laughed. I got all of our wet stuff out of the bathroom and we finally left. (we were there for WAY too long, so long that I don't even want to admit it) After putting the boys, our stuff and the stroller into the car, in the wind and rain, we went to get some dinner. In the home stretch of our night, the waiter put someone else's food RIGHT next to C, and when we were not looking, C, thinking the food was for him, grabbed the salad dressing dish and spilled it all over his hands and the floor, the manager had to come clean it up and the waiter forgot to bring the poor lady at the table next to us a new salad. C, was really fun on the drive home, he sang songs with us and told us stories about the moon until he fell asleep, D cried the whole time.

Today, following yesterday's crazy trip, we had a photo shoot. However, after yesterday, we had the sense to cut it short when it wasn't going well.--I guess I learned something. Now our kids are soundly asleep in bed, and I think they have forgotten all about it, I however, am never leaving the house again. ;)

2 comments:

  1. Oh wow! Definitely one of those days lol. I learned awhile ago that IKEA isn't the place to take the kids if I want to actually look at stuff. So sorry your trip turned out like that, but at least it turned into one of those stories you can look back at and laugh ;) Great post!

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    1. Thank you! I don't know how I forgot to mention, that this was our 2nd trip to IKEA in that week, once with my hubby and once with my mom and sister. The first time was not nearly as bad, although it had its moments...it was actually fun the first time. ;)

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